IS BECOMING A SIDE CHICK AN OPTION

Women we know are created to receive love. They are often perceived as the weaker vessel. They are to be pampered, treated with great care and handled with knowledge and carefulness as they are perceived to be fragile. The problem with this kind of thinking is that a lot of us are expecting this kind of love from men and at all cost. What they fail to know is that this kind of love doesn’t have to come from a man and that even when it comes, it doesn’t have to come from the wrong person and from the wrong place.

In recent times, due to the hype on the issue of marriage, many matured single women, especially those who feel that they do not have time on their side or those who feel they have one disadvantage or the other (may be physically challenged, not- too- fine- face or figure, widowed, divorced, etc.) have resorted to accepting the position of a Mistress or a Side chick as it is commonly called.

A lot of  women who resort to being mistresses and dating married men say they do it either to make ends meet or to have a man they can call their own. Some claim the men love them while others are in it for the material gain. But the real issues is with their Perception.

When a woman perceive herself as a weak one who cannot  hustle or  do decent jobs and take care of herself without the help of a man, she resorts to all manner of unspeakable things just to fill up the emptiness in her head. It all begins with our mindset. A woman’s perception about life may be her biggest enemy. This explains why two persons find themselves in similar situation and they respond to it in different ways. That you don’t have money is not enough reason not to go to school or pursue that dream. Someone has been in that situation before and has conquered all. All you need may be a different view about life and the sky will be your beginning point.

The funny thing is that a lot of our girls get involved with these men hoping to become second wives. Any married man who is having an affair with you must be a player. A player sees love and romance as a game and like all players, they want to come out as winners. A player wins by scoring and in this case he sure will score with so many women as possible. Besides, how can you get something as beautiful and wonderful as love at the expense of another’s happiness? The truth is that this men take advantage of a woman’s frailness and vulnerability and treat her like a second class citizens and this shouldn’t be. Any affair with a married man can only take two roads and these two paths will end up in disaster. For one, he might tell you that he loves you and plans on leaving his wife. Of course, this may never happen as most men are not bold enough to take such steps. He will keep telling you that he wants to do it at the right time and that time may never come. The result is that you are used and abandoned.

Next, the second road may lead to a case where he actually abandons his wife or his wife may leave when she finds out of his infidelity. At the end, you have succeeded but you end up having a man whose words you can’t take, whose commitment you can’t trust because he has proven himself to be a cheat. Please girlfriend, I know you know better than to allow yourself in such a mess.

Besides, come to think of it, why should a married man who can have you as a second wife, ever leave his wife when he has the best of both worlds? He has a woman at home who cooks for him and cares for his children, and then he has you on the side to wear all the trashy lingerie that his wife refuses to wear. So he turns you on and off like a light switch and you have no choice but to hang around year after year, waking up alone every morning and stupidly praying that he slips away every night to keep you company on those lonely nights. In the end, you wake to the startling realization that you have been used and dumped, and that you have wasted your best and most wrinkle free years on a man who has strung you along like a piece of toy.

To this, I ask my dear sisters to wake up! It’s not worth it. Why live a life of deception with a false sense of security? Why use all the beauty you have to wait for a man who cares less about your soul but aims at satisfying his sexual libido? Why opt for less when you can have more. There’s a super handsome and potential - laden young man out there who is wishing and hoping that you look his direction. Demand that you are treated as you are worth, a precious jewel in the eyes of your creator. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. Cheers.